A mommy's mini-rant

In general, I subscribe to the self-policing practice of not putting any potentially controversial opinions anywhere online.  As we all know, this stuff will "live forever," and as a marketing professional, I'm probably more sensitive than average about how anything I put out may reflect on my professional life.

But - every once in awhile (if you read through my blog, you'll see a few instances of this) - we all need to vent - in a constructive manner, of course:).  I choose not to take to Facebook or Twitter to do so; I generally write a few words on my blog.  It's cathartic.

So, here's the deal:  I'm a mom.  Yes, we've established that.  But, that's not the only thing that defines me.  That this point in my life, my identity as a mother is arguably the most sacred and important way in which I define myself, however,  I mean, we're talking about my responsibility for raising a child.  This is no small thing.  Does this make me "more important" or "busier" than a woman my age who does not have children?  No.  We all are unique in our life experiences, and I certainly don't feel like my life is "worth more" than it was before I had a child, for instance.  I feel a greater sense of responsibility, but that's something completely different.  Anyway, I'm rambling...back to my point:  In addition to being a mother, I also work full time in a relatively demanding professional role.  My work requires me to be flexible - working some nights and weekends - and sometimes traveling away from my family.  I also assume the primary role at home for working meals, cleaning, lining up childcare, etc.  You know the drill.  Now, don't misunderstand me - I have an incredibly supportive husband without whom I could never do what I do (nor would I want to), but in short, life is full and busy.  And, I love it. I'm happy, and I've generally figured out how to balance things such that I feel like each part of my life is getting a fair part of me.

You'll notice I didn't mention friends.  It's not that they're not important - because I have and have always had wonderful friends.  I count myself as one of those truly blessed women who has long-lasting, true friendships.  And, I have a good number of them.  I take the time to let my friends know I care; I take the time to do "girls" weekends - sometimes with children and sometimes without.  I take the time to go to dinner on a regular basis, etc.  But - I'll be honest - in rare instances in which I'm forced to prioritize things in my life - my family comes out on top.  On top of work, on top of fun, on top of friends.  And, I'm okay with that.  I'm responsible for ensuring I provide a loving, stable, safe, enriching childhood for my child(ren), and that will always win when push comes to shove.  Again - let me be clear - this doesn't mean my friends,  my work, myself aren't important or that I don't make time for them.  It just means that - when forced to choose - the choice is easy for me.  And, frankly, not always a fun choice, just the one I feel like I must make.  Only I have to wake up with  myself every morning.

Every once in a blue moon - and obviously now is one of those times - one of my friends who does not yet have children (and you can't understand the juggling act until you do; I certainly did not attempt to) is offended by these choices.  And, sometimes these friends suggest that perhaps I don't understand that they also have lives but are willing to put friends first, etc.  And, what I struggle to try to explain is the following:  Wrong.  I do get it.  I know you're busy (in fact, I remember working so hard before I had Anna that I would literally get sick from running myself ragged). I know you have full lives doing incredible things I can't even imagine:  running marathons, conducting valuable charity work, etc.  I would never in a million years suggest my life is more important, or even busier, because I am a mother.

But - I have one more factor in my life (soon to be two) that does force me to prioritize in a different way sometimes.  And, that's just a fact.  I love my friends. But - rather than being cynical or pointing fingers, I'd like to ask that you be supportive such that one day - if you're also in my situation - you'll perhaps be able to expect and ask the same of me.

I'd also ask that you read this article that has been around the block quite sometime, but is still true.  It depicts the day in the life of a stay-at-home mom, but it's relevant to all moms.  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html?referrer=facebook

Again, let me be clear, I'm not suggesting I'm more important or busier.  We are unique.  We have different challenges.  These are mine.  Please be supportive instead of snarky.

Zucchini overload!

We've planted a garden the past few summers.  Ahem - I should clarify - Brian plants a garden.  I just pick the veggies once they're ready!  Trust me, it's best this way.

This year, I think we planted one too many zucchini plants.  I've had more zucchini than I've known what to do with; unfortunately, it's not my favorite vegetable, either.

What to do?  Zucchini bread!  I got this recipe from the Wood Family Cookbook, a collection of recipes from Brian's paternal grandmother's family.  If I'm ever looking for a southern staple, this is my first stop.  It's delicious!

Zucchini Bread
Notes:  1) This makes too much batter for one loaf pan; the recipes doesn't indicate so, but I think it's probably a double recipe.  2) I found this to take more than the suggested 35 minutes.  I suggest setting your timer for 35, then checking using the "clean toothpick" test.  If not done, keep trying at 10 minute increments.  I ended up cooking mine closer to an hour, and it was still incredibly moist.

3 c. all-purpose flour
2 t. baking soda
1 t. salt
1/2 t. baking powder
1 1/2 t. cinnamon
3/4 c. finely chopped nuts (I leave these out, because Anna doesn't dig them)
2 c. sugar
3 eggs
1 c. vegetable oil (clearly eliminates any suggestion that this is a health food)
2 t. vanilla
2 c. coarsely shredded zucchini (I just used a manual grater, but you could certainly use your food processor)
8 oz. can crushed pineapple, drained well

Combine dry ingredients, set aside.  Beat eggs, add sugar, oil and vanilla.  Beat until creamy. Stir in zucchini and pineapple.  Add dry ingredients, stirring until just moist.  Bake at 350 for 35 minutes until done.

Enjoy!

Chicken Tostadas

Little Bit's now two years old (okay, she has been for a few months), and I don't feel like I can continue to get away with the "feed her early and then B and I eat after she goes to bed" routine.  Plus, she essentially eats no veggies (just doesn't like them?), so I figured we all needed to sit down and eat the same thing.  I should mention that she's begun to "cook" with me while I'm preparing dinner, and this activity really seems to improve what she's eating, because she wants to eat what she cooks.  I was stunned last week when she readily ate broccoli, which she previously wouldn't touch.

So - that's a long-winded intro to say that I'm trying some new recipes - family-friendly ones, that is.  Here's one that I like a lot.  It's quick, simple, not too heavy (it's still so hot outside) and tasty.  Credit goes to Robin Miller (who has a show on the Food Network).  

Notes:  I obviously didn't put pickled jalapeños on Little Bit's.  And, I garnished with avocado, salsa and sour cream.  She loves sour cream.

Ingredients

• Cooking spray
• 4 (6-inch) corn tortillas
• 4 cups shredded lettuce
• 4 cooked chicken breast halves, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 1 tomato, diced
• 1 cup frozen corn kernels, thawed
• 1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1/4 cup diced pickled jalapenos
• Chopped fresh cilantro leaves, to garnish
• Cilantro-Lime Vinaigrette, recipe follows

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Coat a large baking sheet with cooking spray.

Arrange tortillas on prepared baking sheet and spray tortillas with cooking spray. Brush in cooking spray to coat. Bake 5 to 6 minutes, until golden brown. Transfer tortillas to individual plates and top with lettuce, chicken, tomatoes, corn, black beans, and jalapenos. Sprinkle cilantro over top to garnish, if desired. Drizzle with Cilantro-Lime Vinaigrette.

Cilantro-Lime Vinaigrette:

1/3 cup chicken broth

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 teaspoons honey mustard

1 teaspoon lime zest

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

2 tablespoons fresh cilantro leaves, finely chopped

Salt and ground black pepper

In a container or jar, place chicken broth, olive oil, honey mustard, lime zest, lime juice, cilantro, salt and pepper. Cover with lid. Shake to combine. To serve, drizzle over Chicken Tostada.

Tuna Pasta Salad

Today is one of those days when I really love my job, because two days a week, I get to eat lunch at home.  I know that sounds silly, but it makes a big difference in my work/rest of my life balance.  Of course, the flip side of that coin is that I work a good number of Saturdays and evenings (so, let's just say it all balances out).


What does this have to do with "Tuna Pasta Salad?"  Well, today, I was looking in my fridge for something to eat for lunch, and nothing appealed to me.  Then, I looked in the pantry:  PASTA!  I love pasta (could eat it for every meal, I think), but it's clearly not the most healthy option all the time.  Today, I decided I'd try to mix in enough other ingredients to make the dish healthy, and I ended up with something that was incredibly tasty - and healthy - so I'm sharing here.  


Keep in mind, I threw in a little of this and that when making, so the ingredient amounts may not be right on:

• About 1/3-1/2 pound pasta - your favorite shape.  I had a box of piccolo (small) fusilli
• couple hands full of cherry or grape tomatoes
• handful of salad greens (I had mixed organic salad greens)
• can of white albacore tuna, packed in water (packed in oil would be even better)
• several ounces of goat cheese (plain, sold in log-shape style)
• 1-2 T olive oil
• 1/2 lemon
• salt and pepper to taste

I boiled the pasta in salted water.  Halfway through, I added the tomatoes (did not cut them), so they would get soft and sort-of-cooked.  Drained the pasta and mixed with the rest of ingredients.  Viola - a great, warm, relatively healthy pasta salad.  I ate half and put the rest in the fridge for later. We have some fresh arugala in our garden, and I think that would be even better than the mixed greens; call me lazy for not walking out there to get it.

Enjoy!

Mexican Pulled Pork Over Yellow Rice

My friend, Letty, gave me the Augusta, GA Junior League cookbook, Par 3, a few years ago.  YUM.  I've long been a devotee of Junior League cookbooks, and I think this one is my favorite so far.  The following recipe is one of many I cook on a fairly regular basis.  My two-yo daughter likes it.

1 onion, chopped
1 3.5 pound boneless pork shoulder roast (I generally use a pork loin, as it's much leaner, but it's a little tougher)
1 can Rotel
1 (4oz) can diced green chiles
1 can yellow corn, drained
1 t garlic powder
1 t salt
2 t cumin
1 1/2 t dried oregano
1/2 t cayenne pepper (I don't use quite that much)
3 T tomato paste
1 package yellow saffron rice
sour cream and chopped fresh cilantro for garnish

Combine onion and pork in slow cooker.
Mix rest of ingredients - except tomato paste and rice - and pour over roast.  Cover and cook on high for 5 hours.
Remove roast and shred with fork.  Remove 1 1/2 cups of the liquid and discard.
Add tomato paste to cooker and cook on high for 30 min.
Return meat to cooker and heat through.
Cook rice and serve with pork and garnish.

Pimento Cheese

Christine's Pimento Cheese


Rarely can I claim a recipe to be my own (versus something I found), but this one actually is-:)  I was tired of following pimento cheese recipes only to be disappointed.  Like anything, good pimento cheese is a subjective thing, so you may not like mine, but I sure do!   I make mine up as I go along, so here's as close as I can get to an actual recipe:

8 oz sharp cheddar - grated

4 oz pepper jack - grated

2 T parmesan - grated

1 4-oz jar chopped pimentos, drained

as much mayo as seems right to you (somewhere around 1/2 cup, I think) - I always use Kraft full-fat, but everyone has a mayo preference

1 T dijon mustard

a pink of cayenne

Mix and serve with crackers, crudités or on a sandwich.  

Not love.

The last post I wrote was about love.  This post is the antithesis of love.  This post is about violence. I recently followed this story about a young UVA student who was beaten and killed by her fellow-UVA student ex-boyfriend (here's a link to one of many stories about the murder) http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TheLaw/yeardley-love-death-warning-signs-missed-ahead-university/story?id=10581761.  Not surprisingly, Love's friends are now coming out and saying that there was a history of violence in the relationship.  Shocking.

We all know someone who has been in a violent relationship, don't we?  I know too many women - young and old - who have allowed men to physically and mentally abuse them.  I find myself getting angry about this as I type.

Don't let this happen to you.  As I told someone very close to me when she was lying for her then-boyfriend and to herself:  You could end up dead.  Why do women think it'll never be them?  Or - perhaps an even better question - why do women not value themselves enough to care?

If someone - man, woman, boyfriend or not - has tried to control you, threaten violence toward you, or even worse, acted on that threat, hear me now:  GET HELP NOW.  Don't be embarrassed to admit the situation to those you trust; you will likely need help to separate yourself from the psychological hold the person likely has over you.  You may also need help to physically separate yourself from that person.  But - know this:  He will not change.  And - let's say he even could - do you want to risk the chance he won't?

We have this one life here.  We're all worth something.  Don't let someone who clearly has his own issues take your life away from you.  I feel so sorry for the UVA student and her friends and family who wish they had done something.  Please recognize this could be you.