I've mentioned my friend Jane a few times on this blog; she was a great friend to me. One of her unique characteristics was that she could really "see" people; see through whatever face you were putting on and get to the core (boy, do I wish I could do this). I recall one day when I went to her house to vent about B. I was so incredibly frustrated and angry with something or other he had done (or not done). Of course, the details of the offense are insignificant today (so much so that I don't recall them). Truth be told, I thought the early days of our marriage were some of the most trying of our relationship. I could guess why, but that's another blog post.
Anyway, she said two things that will always stay with me (as I was complaining and talking out my feelings, as I tend to do, etc.):
1) "Christine, you should read this book called Loving What Is." She went on to explain that the core message of the book was to sift through the clutter and simply love someone for who he/she is, regardless of faults. That's not to excuse dangerous/damaging behaviors, etc., but to suggest that many of us are constantly trying to make someone who we want him to be (and subsequently forget what we initially loved about that person in the first place). And, she went on to remind me that none of us is perfect. I think - no, I know - that I needed that reminder at the time.
2) The second thing she said to me during the course of our conversation was, "Christine, you just really, really love [B] him, don't you?" Now, that statement may not seem so strange (he is my husband, after all), but it was the way her face completely shone when she said it. It was as if the feelings I clearly had for him were simply wonderful and miraculous to her. Here I was, complaining and venting, and she saw through it all to the core truth.
This is where there's the risk of me getting mushy...because she was right. I have numerous pics of B & Anna, but I'm posting one here that I love. My two loves-:) Okay, enough mush. Need to change the music!
