Watch the Thinker.

"Watch the thinker," writes Eckhart Tolle in his book, The Power of Now. It's been a couple years since I read the book, and I didn't even finish it, but I remember this phrase and point. The context around "What the thinker" is that to truly be in the here and now, you must be able to be outside of yourself...make any sense? Anyhoo, it's not an easy task for most of us, so the first step to achieving that state, says Tolle, is to practice "watching the thinker." Essentially, try to observe your own thoughts as if you were a fly on the wall of your life. Since I read that several years back, I find myself "watching the thinker" quite often. It's interesting. It's frightening. It's annoying.

I realize that there are certain scripts that run through my head a lot. For instance, I'm always trying to please someone/something. I'm always telling myself I should be better. On the flip side, I am easily annoyed when others around me aren't fervently doing the same thing. The good thing about watching all this thinking is that I'm able to try to change the script after recognizing those recurring thoughts that aren't productive to me or others. Now to my point: perhaps the most interesting (and annoying) thing I've learned is that I constantly have thoughts running through my head. All the time. When I'm sitting watching TV, I'm thinking about something. When I'm making dinner, I'm thinking about something. As I sit here and type, I'm thinking about something.

Right now? I'm thinking that I'm slightly annoyed that my husband went to watch football with his friends while I'm sitting here watching a teething, non-napping baby. And, I'm asking myself why I'm annoyed by that...can he not watch football with his friends? And, shouldn't I want to maximize my time with the baby since I'm going to Chicago on Tuesday for a business trip? And, I'm thinking that I need to remember to ask the nanny if she can work on Friday. And, how may bottles do I need to leave Brian and the nanny when I go to Chicago? And, I've eaten way too much junk food this weekend. And, what will I wear when I present at the conference on Tuesday? And, my job...need to think about how I'm going to make the changes I'd like to make...wow that opens up a whole can of worms. Seriously, these are the things that have been running through my head.

Holy moly. No wonder I need a blog. If only I had more time to write.

A good read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/21/us/politics/21carolina.html?ex=1382328000&en=a9768a721bed50ea&ei=5124&partner=facebook&exprod=facebook

p.s.

here's a Web site for the show http://www.spainontheroadagain.com/

Here's what I'm thinking.

I'm relaxing and watching my favorite kind of TV: that which is focused on food. Earlier tonight, I watched one of my favorites, "Triple D," otherwise known as "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" on the Food Network. Great as always. Really - you must check it out.

Now to my point. I'm watching this special on PBS starring Mario Batali and Gwyneth Paltrow (along with a Spanish actress and US food critic) traveling around Spain and eating great food, drinking incredible wine, etc. And...I don't think I can watch this anymore. The food looks incredible, the setting beautiful, etc...but if I have to hear Gwyneth Paltrow claim one more time how much she loves food and just eats and eats and eats and eats, I think I'll be sick. Really? Is anyone buying what she's selling?

It's not Benjamin Moore no. 356, "Denim."

They're actually jeans, not paint. That being said, today is a good day, because I was able to zip and button a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans. A normal-sized pair. While they look like they're painted on, they're actually on...and they don't hurt. So there.

p.s. to political rant.

If you want to read a real rant, check out www.rojahnrant.com. I think I claim this blogger as family:)

I just don't understand...

...the psychology behind why some Americans will "pick a side" without fully looking at the facts. Yes, I'm talking about the presidential election in this country. I'm watching the debate right now, and it's pretty interesting, but it's also prompting me to think about a conversation I had this morning. I won't mention who I was talking to...but this person mentioned to me that he would "never vote for Obama," because, "...Obama is Muslim, and he says he will meet with terrorists in this country." WHAT?!? Unless Obama is simply a boldfaced liar, I understand him to be Christian. And, let's say he was Muslim (which he isn't)...does that really matter? I thought we had a separation of Church and State in this country. But, did this person take the time to research these claims that he simply picked up along the way of his daily life? No. Now, let's tackle the claim that Obama will meet with terrorists in this country...I assume he is referring to Obama's statement that he will consider sitting down with leaders throughout the world, regardless of their policies, etc. Or, perhaps he was referring to Palin's recent comments that Obama was "palling around with terrorists." If this person had taken 5 minutes to do a simple Google search, he would understand that this was an issue already debated in the primary season and put to bed.

I understand that we all have different political perspectives, and I certainly don't expect all persons to agree with my own views. But, what I simply don't have patience for ignorance and laziness. Take the time to investigate the policies of each candidate rather than reading some stupid email forward or listening to a pundit, etc. Think for yourself. Be logical. Then, and only then, stake your claim.

To all of you out there who approach something as significant as a presidential election in this haphazard way, I have a message for you: "Stay home in November." We don't need your vote.

Inspirational Women

Social networking is incredible. Ten years ago, who knew that I'd be able to connect with persons from all areas of my life through one Web site?

Some photos that a friend of mine posted on Facebook a few days ago (that I saw today) inspired me to think about how incredibly blessed I am to be surrounded by such strong women. This particular friend is beautiful, smart, fun and a great mom to boot. Unfortunately, her husband didn't come close to measuring up, and she's had a tough few years. But, she made the choice to rise above her challenges rather than being a victim. She doesn't wallow in what could have been...she doesn't expect that anyone "owes" her anything as a result of what she's been through. Rather, she picked up her life, made smart - but hard - choices in her son's best interest, and she moved on...or shall I say, "up." Today, she's happier than I've ever known her, and she literally glows. She has an incredible career and a beautiful, happy, well-balanced son. She took the narrow, crooked, less traveled path, and it's leading her to great places. I'm so proud.

p.s. did i mention that i generally don't shower on mondays until brian gets home at dinner?

Monday - a blessing?

I shouldn't be writing this right now. Why? Because I only have a few minutes, and I should be using that time to do "work," the kind I get paid to do. But, I needed a quick break, so here I am.

Every Monday is a blessing. I work for an organization that's flexible enough to allow me to work from home one day a week. And, regardless of this blog entry, I don't take advantage of that. I work more than my fair share throughout the week (definitely more than 40 hrs), so I feel comfortable with the arrangement. Most importantly, it allows me to spend one more day a week with my baby girl. The nanny doesn't come on Mondays, SO...

Every Monday is also a challenge. This morning went something like this...wake up, make coffee and answer some emails before Anna wakes. When Anna wakes, feed her and play with her until she goes down for her morning nap (about an hour after she wakes up). Usually, I use the time when she's sleeping to cram several hours of work into one, and then we start the cycle again. Lucky for me, she still naps three times a day. Since I don't get as much "work" done on Mondays as I would like, I continue working after she goes to bed.

But, as me if it's worth it. The answer is a resounding, "YES." This arrangement is one of the things that keeps me in the workforce, and I am assure any skeptics out there that my employer gets more than 100% from me over the long run. I think my employer could be even more flexible, but it's a great start. Why are others not smart enough to do so?

Off to work! 49 minutes and counting...

Opting Out?

I'm not there (yet), but I thought some of you (the 1 or 2 readers who may visit this site) may enjoy this book http://www.ucpress.edu/books/pages/10348.php called Opting Out by Pamela Stone. She recently spoke here at UNC, and I thought her premise was pretty interesting. She asserts that, through research (she's a social scientist), she's determined that many women don't leave the workforce because they have an overwhelming desire to do so, but that they leave because the workforce is so unfriendly to working women/mothers. She suggests that the inflexible work hours, etc. in the overwhelming majority of organizations essentially "forces" women to leave. And that, for those who are able to work out flexible arrangements (such as part-time, etc.) are marginalized to the point of leaving. Very interesting.

p.s.

Remember my pledge to exercise at least 15 min everyday? I broke my streak yesterday. Does laundry, cooking dinner, nursing a baby and running to/from work count?

Calling all voters!

The first VP debate is tomorrow night, Oct 2, at 8 pm CDT (so 9 pm EDT). Here are some details posted by Washington University in St. Louis http://debate.wustl.edu/home.php.

If you can, please watch! Notwithstanding my previous comments about comedy, we know all too well how influential a vice president can be. It's an important choice - so check it out!