Not love.

The last post I wrote was about love.  This post is the antithesis of love.  This post is about violence. I recently followed this story about a young UVA student who was beaten and killed by her fellow-UVA student ex-boyfriend (here's a link to one of many stories about the murder) http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TheLaw/yeardley-love-death-warning-signs-missed-ahead-university/story?id=10581761.  Not surprisingly, Love's friends are now coming out and saying that there was a history of violence in the relationship.  Shocking.

We all know someone who has been in a violent relationship, don't we?  I know too many women - young and old - who have allowed men to physically and mentally abuse them.  I find myself getting angry about this as I type.

Don't let this happen to you.  As I told someone very close to me when she was lying for her then-boyfriend and to herself:  You could end up dead.  Why do women think it'll never be them?  Or - perhaps an even better question - why do women not value themselves enough to care?

If someone - man, woman, boyfriend or not - has tried to control you, threaten violence toward you, or even worse, acted on that threat, hear me now:  GET HELP NOW.  Don't be embarrassed to admit the situation to those you trust; you will likely need help to separate yourself from the psychological hold the person likely has over you.  You may also need help to physically separate yourself from that person.  But - know this:  He will not change.  And - let's say he even could - do you want to risk the chance he won't?

We have this one life here.  We're all worth something.  Don't let someone who clearly has his own issues take your life away from you.  I feel so sorry for the UVA student and her friends and family who wish they had done something.  Please recognize this could be you.