A mommy's mini-rant

In general, I subscribe to the self-policing practice of not putting any potentially controversial opinions anywhere online.  As we all know, this stuff will "live forever," and as a marketing professional, I'm probably more sensitive than average about how anything I put out may reflect on my professional life.

But - every once in awhile (if you read through my blog, you'll see a few instances of this) - we all need to vent - in a constructive manner, of course:).  I choose not to take to Facebook or Twitter to do so; I generally write a few words on my blog.  It's cathartic.

So, here's the deal:  I'm a mom.  Yes, we've established that.  But, that's not the only thing that defines me.  That this point in my life, my identity as a mother is arguably the most sacred and important way in which I define myself, however,  I mean, we're talking about my responsibility for raising a child.  This is no small thing.  Does this make me "more important" or "busier" than a woman my age who does not have children?  No.  We all are unique in our life experiences, and I certainly don't feel like my life is "worth more" than it was before I had a child, for instance.  I feel a greater sense of responsibility, but that's something completely different.  Anyway, I'm rambling...back to my point:  In addition to being a mother, I also work full time in a relatively demanding professional role.  My work requires me to be flexible - working some nights and weekends - and sometimes traveling away from my family.  I also assume the primary role at home for working meals, cleaning, lining up childcare, etc.  You know the drill.  Now, don't misunderstand me - I have an incredibly supportive husband without whom I could never do what I do (nor would I want to), but in short, life is full and busy.  And, I love it. I'm happy, and I've generally figured out how to balance things such that I feel like each part of my life is getting a fair part of me.

You'll notice I didn't mention friends.  It's not that they're not important - because I have and have always had wonderful friends.  I count myself as one of those truly blessed women who has long-lasting, true friendships.  And, I have a good number of them.  I take the time to let my friends know I care; I take the time to do "girls" weekends - sometimes with children and sometimes without.  I take the time to go to dinner on a regular basis, etc.  But - I'll be honest - in rare instances in which I'm forced to prioritize things in my life - my family comes out on top.  On top of work, on top of fun, on top of friends.  And, I'm okay with that.  I'm responsible for ensuring I provide a loving, stable, safe, enriching childhood for my child(ren), and that will always win when push comes to shove.  Again - let me be clear - this doesn't mean my friends,  my work, myself aren't important or that I don't make time for them.  It just means that - when forced to choose - the choice is easy for me.  And, frankly, not always a fun choice, just the one I feel like I must make.  Only I have to wake up with  myself every morning.

Every once in a blue moon - and obviously now is one of those times - one of my friends who does not yet have children (and you can't understand the juggling act until you do; I certainly did not attempt to) is offended by these choices.  And, sometimes these friends suggest that perhaps I don't understand that they also have lives but are willing to put friends first, etc.  And, what I struggle to try to explain is the following:  Wrong.  I do get it.  I know you're busy (in fact, I remember working so hard before I had Anna that I would literally get sick from running myself ragged). I know you have full lives doing incredible things I can't even imagine:  running marathons, conducting valuable charity work, etc.  I would never in a million years suggest my life is more important, or even busier, because I am a mother.

But - I have one more factor in my life (soon to be two) that does force me to prioritize in a different way sometimes.  And, that's just a fact.  I love my friends. But - rather than being cynical or pointing fingers, I'd like to ask that you be supportive such that one day - if you're also in my situation - you'll perhaps be able to expect and ask the same of me.

I'd also ask that you read this article that has been around the block quite sometime, but is still true.  It depicts the day in the life of a stay-at-home mom, but it's relevant to all moms.  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html?referrer=facebook

Again, let me be clear, I'm not suggesting I'm more important or busier.  We are unique.  We have different challenges.  These are mine.  Please be supportive instead of snarky.